So I like to make song parodies about disease.

Today is brought to you by LISTERIA.

“Listeeeeeeeeeria
you’re breaking my heart,
you’re shaking my confidence daily…

Oh LISTEEEEEEERIA
I’m down on my knees,
I’m begging you please to go home.
Go on home.” 

“JUBILAAAAAAAAAATION, THERE’S MELON AGAIN! I’m in the dining hall and I’m happy.”

(ALSO CONSIDERED: “Oh listeeeeeeeria, you’re breaking my heart, you’re taking my cantaloupes daily….”)